All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Randomize
