Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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