Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
