opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
