I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
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