Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Randomize
