i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
They have beer where we have blood.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Randomize
