Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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