I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
