just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Randomize
