i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Randomize
