is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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