dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
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