At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Randomize
