so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Randomize
