Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I am naked and annoyed.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Randomize
