What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
