i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
