just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
