Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Randomize
