sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
