am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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