I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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