Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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