fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Randomize
