i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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