you guys were way drunker than both of me
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Randomize
