He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Randomize
