So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
