she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Randomize
