I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
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