I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
Randomize
