By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize