day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
