I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
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