In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
