Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Randomize
