Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
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