glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
