Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
