Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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