uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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