I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I'm sobbing to NWA
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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