brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I feel like abortions should bother me more
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
