i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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