It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Randomize
