We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
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