The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
You left your phone here
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