separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
