I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Randomize
