Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
