My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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