i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
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