People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
