Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
