I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize
