In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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