no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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