my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize
