I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
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