That's intense
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
