My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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