She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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