Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
