I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
