some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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